Many of the banguet custom were similar over the Mediterranean regions. Banquets began with invitations, many delivered by servants or members of host family. And yes, there were banquet crashers. (In the story of Mary and Martha, Mary was the crasher!)
The feast started at sundown and lasted three of more hours. The perfect banquet was 8-9 people. Any banquet larger would create small group conversations which were to be avoided.
It began in the anteroom where feet were washed and sometimes annointed with perfume. A servant did this and some of the women since it was not a popular or honorable job. After this, the right hand was washed and guest was offered a glass of wine.
The only guests at banquets were male. Many wives were much younger teenagers and men would not want to include them. Exceptions to this rule included some feasts and religious feasts, notably the wedding feast but even in this event, men and women sat at separate tables.
The banquet was divided into two parts. The first section focused on the meal which included the appetizer and main dish. The second part emphasized entertainment and wine. Another course of light dessert- nuts, fruit and sweet cakes was served in the second part
The banquet room had reclining couches against three of the walls. Diners faced middle of room which made it easy to share a conversation. Couches were assigned based on rank in society.
A guest of honor sat to right of host. The host prepared the menu, the guest list, location and order of seating. The host appointed a guest who established the rules for drinking wine. – how full and specific mixture of wine and water.
After reclining women or servants washed the guests hands. Then tables with food were carried into the room. Each table served 2 or 3 guests. There were no plates or bowls for individual diners as well as no knives, forks spoons or npakins. Foods were served in platters or bowls and guests shared everything. Only free citizens were allowed to eat while reclining.
The host began the banquets by offering a prayer of thanks for the bread. An additional prayer may be said based on the occasion.
The feasts included a lot of bread and vegetables including lettuce, onions, leeks, beans, herbs and olives. It didn’t always include meats and usually only if the banquet was especially extravagant. Lamb and goat were the most popular and sometimes beef and pork (non-jews) were served.
After the meat, the tables, dishes were cleared and servants swept the floors. New tables with fresh and dried fruites, pistachios, almonds, hard-boiled eggs, sweet cakes were brought into the room. The banquet shifted to a focus on entertainment and wine. Wine was served from a common bowl called the Krater. Another prayer was offered for the wine. A hymn might be song and then they enjoyed their entertainment while they ate their desserts and drank their wine.
The entertainment was in many cases music. There were also poetry readings by the guestrs, riddles and different types of games including drinking games. Very wealthy hosts also included elaborate entertainment, including dancers, acrobats and music ensembles, some from local clubs. Flute and harp were popular instruments.
When Jesus attended a banquet, he was often the entertainment. The rich liked to invite him to banquets to avoid the crowds. His role was to answer question posed by the guests. "What are your views on fasting?" "Is it true you healed a man on the Sabbath?" "Should we pay taxes to the emperor?" He would ask questions in return – "Was the Sabbath made for us or were we made for the Sabbath?" "Who is the true neighbor?" "What is the greatest of the commandments?" Some of the guests became followers and others enemies. Some of the parables may have originated in banquets.
Like today’s dinner parties, relationships were established and friendships deepened at banquets. A common identity was forged. Religious aspects were part of banquets, including prayers and hymns. You could go so far as to show similiarities in form in the early Christian worship and the banquet.